Well, I knew it was likely. I thought it wouldn't upset me. It did and it has. A lot of my guild have done very well and got to 80 and, seeing other people calling for PUG groups to Naxx, have decided to schedule some for the guild. I am only level 76. I stupidly thought that it would be like TBC - get to level 80, do some heroics and prepare for Naxx. It isn't. People seem to be going straight for Naxx. Without me. I figured I would have a few months to sort myself out, see the new content and stuff and that I would be OK with that. I'm not.
This will be the first guild raid that I will not be in the first steps somewhere and it's hurting. It's also annoying because it's only a game and I'm having a lot of fun playing with Barkie, taking my time and stuff. But a small part of me is dying inside that I'm being left out.
I hate the way I'm feeling. Reading Seri's post doesn't make it any easier. We lost a guildie to a raiding guild recently. She was a priest, in MP5 gemmed gear. I am a priest and I don't have MP5 gemmed gear (read the article to understand that). She even asked the other day how to gem her gear, didn't listen and put in MP5 gems anyway. I read, I work hard to improve, I KNOW how to play my class. I love being a priest and I think I'm quite good at it. Oh, I don't really know what I'm thinking or where this is going and I'm not even sure I'm thinking straight having only had 5 hours sleep last night.
But I'm sad, confused, lost, hurt yet also happy too that the guild is going to be doing stuff and that we hopefully won't lose any more players. I don't like people leaving the guild, although generally those that do weren't quite a "fit" for the guild anyway. But I'm worried that the loot hungry, keen for progression people who do fit will want more. I knew it would happen, I said it wouldn't affect me, but it does. I want a "Guild Mum" who I can cry on now.
I think I need some chocolate..... this is currently top of my list of dairy free chocolate - I have 3 bars in my desk drawer.... they are calling to me.
OK, that was a rant, a vent, a little bit of a whine. I've thrown my toys out of the pram and am going to go back to bed to lick my wounds. Hopefully I will wake up brighter and happier and remember that this isn't RL, it's not that important really in the grand scheme of things. Tonight I will try to get to level 77 and be able to fly again and that will feel good.
Think positive, Seph, think positive... *cries*